Courtship begins

When I first met Didier, I had just started a hostessing job at his new restaurant on the Upper West Side of Manhattan called AIX.  I came to AIX on the advice of his friend Jehangir with whom I had worked at Compass, also on the UWS, and who had recently left Compass to work again with Didier.  My first day of training, I was sitting at the front desk podium looking at the Open Table seating chart with the head hostess, when in walked Didier.  He wore a blue sweater with a zip front, an ascot, jeans, a long brown suede coat, what I called his tap shoes because they clicked when he walked, and a knapsack very high up on his back.  He looked like a French school boy and he had the sweetest face I had ever seen.  In that moment, before it was even a moment, I was smitten. 

Of course I did not share this with too many people as it seemed to be my way at the time to push against what I wanted or was in store for me, but I did know.  I knew because all the signs continued to point to it.  The easy banter, shared sense of humor, love of art and music.  I impressed him with a strong knowledge of 70s era rock music.  Come on, I am from Jersey!  I loved his food.  I loved his smile, when he was willing to reveal it.  I loved his shyness.  I seemed to be one of the few who knew that that was what it was.  He was not arrogant or rude.  He was shy and he was committed to making good food and it meant more to him than most people realized.  Bad reviews, disappointed customers.  This hurt him deeply. 

He knew about wine.  I drank martinis.  He played drums and was once in a rock band with his brother in France.  I was a dancer.  He never moved, save the occasional air drumming episode but he did have rhythm.  He struggled through the slang expressions I used when animated and excited and I hopelessly interpreted his Franglais when he was tired.  We enjoyed late nights at wine bars and friends' restaurants around the city and visits to galleries and museums, concerts and weekends in the Hamptons.  Discovering each other was even more intoxicating because it was a secret.

The details of our courtship can be told by the countless impressions we left on restaurant staff as they tried to decipher our flirtation signals and wayward glances.  He was in a bad marriage and everyone knew this and I was afraid I would never find love with anyone, let alone this man.  We went back and forth for years.  He was slow to make a decision regarding his divorce, wanting to leave his ex-wife with what she'd need to continue in a life without him, and I was eager to move forward in our relationship but felt powerless to assert myself with him, wanting him to take all the time he needed to be sure.  Then as now, the love was not the question.  It was and I suppose is, all the other stuff that make relationships work in real life and not just in the movies. 

Once there was a commitment, I told him that I would follow him anywhere.  And here we are.

(c) copyright 2010. Citymominthejungle