Lair of the White Pink Lizard

The white pink lizard inside the house is back and the terror alert level has risen to fluorescent pink, hysteria, run for the hills supreme.  What I am trying to say is, HELP!  THE WHITE PINK LIZARD WITH BLACK BEADY EYES WHO SUSPENDS HIMSELF FROM THE CEILING AND WIGGLES ABOUT IS CAUSING TERROR AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS IN MY HOME!  I have heard, thank you very much, from the professionals of the animal kingdom, read all my friends here in Barbados, some of whom pick up the toads with their bare hands (Yes, pick up. With BARE hands.) that these delicate creatures are "our friends as they eat mosquitoes and other pests and are more afraid of me than I am of them," blah blah.  Yes, I am aware of how ridiculous the paralyzing fear is and yet, I am afraid, there is very little I can do about it.  I am also not too keen on the Bajan folklore surrounding the sighting of a white lizard in your home which is supposed to foretell of a pregnancy to come.  Uh, no.  BCPs in full effect with support materials.  More babies?  Not from this lady.

Last night after getting the wild and woolly girls down to sleep, I came out to the living room prepared to enjoy a glass of Rose D'Anjou with the computer and the silence, when I heard some strange scratchy, wiggly sound on the ceiling.  I looked up to discover our friend, last seen in my bedroom nights ago, on the living room ceiling in some sort of panic.  He twitched and turned as if responding to my movements and took off down the hallway towards, gasp!, the girls' bedroom.  Luckily, that door was closed so I did not have to go in and perform some sort of rescue mission, which for the sake of my children, I would surely attempt.  I did, however, send my husband a text message.

"Warning.  Just so you know, the white, pink lizard is back and it has gone down the hallway towards the girls' room.  Be advised that when you get home from work, you will have to find it and handle it.  Big kiss.  xxBee"

When my darling husband got home he did look first at me and then at the glass of wine.  I know that gesture.  I know what that means, but no, I had not had one sip prior to sending the urgent SOS.  Not only did I know what I was talking about, but I was indeed of sound mind, save the hysteria from seeing the damned thing, and still had every intention of seeing him carry out his mission.  Poor soul.  In his chef's whites and underwear, Didier walked the hallway and attached rooms but found nothing.  "You know what this means?" I demanded.  "You will have to look for him every night until he is found and returned to the wild."

Sighing, Didier asked if it might be alright if he could have a glass of water and maybe some bread as he had not eaten since the afternoon.  I saw him changing the subject.  And while I offered him a glass of water and apologized for not allowing him a quick snack, I did tell him that I was quite serious.  In spite of the madness, he still loves me.  He took one last look.  No white pink lizard.  Maybe it was grey now.  You know they change colors too.  Whoop.

As with many of the wild animal posts, this one is to be continued.  I am hoping that I get up the nerve to take a photo for the next post, but each time I see one, I just get freaked beyond sanity and envision the thing turning and jumping onto my face as I try to capture its image.  What's funny is that I am not completely a city girl.  I have gone camping and fishing and like going hiking and all that stuff, but the close proximity to the slimy creatures (oh, and the monkeys) is not my bag.  Until that thing gets out of here, I feel like I am trapped in the lair.


(c)  Copyright 2011.  City Mom in the Jungle.