Signed confession

Virginie and Lily are using expert tactics on me here in the jungle, something I think all intelligence agencies should consider when hoping to extract information from terrorists and other criminals.  I have always said that the interrogators should be three or four year olds and all answers will be revealed by the end of the afternoon.  "I want a ballerina doll for my birthday.  It will be a ballerina and she will dance.  She will wear a ballet costume and she will be a ballerina and I will get it for my birthday.  You will have to get it for my birthday when I have my birthday party and I will have a ballerina doll and she is going to be dancing"...you get the picture.  That's Lily.  And she will actually be playing the role of "good cop."  The "bad cop" will be played by Virginie, one year old and teething and somehow pooping in the middle of the night...twice.

I have been sleeping in the girls' room whilst their father is away to avoid walking back and forth through the house to soothe Virginie and get her back to sleep during this difficult teething time.  It also saves on the energy bill as we have only one air conditioner working at a time.  I hoped this would allow us all to get some sleep, much needed in my case, and allow pretty quick, if not instant gratification for Virginie.  What I am getting instead is a non-stop nursing succubus who then poops because she is clearing out her very full system, who cries when she is being changed while asleep and then wakes up the other one who probably needs another 30 minutes of sleep.  (Yes, we calculate the sleep needs in small increments here.  For example, if I get up at 5:30 am, I can live with it because it is close to 6.  But if I am awakened at 5:15, well that is 5 am and that is practically the middle of the night.  But I digress.)

I am sure I will look back at this time one day, smiling and chatting with my grown daughters about how crazy I was during their early years.  But at present, I feel tortured and sleep deprived and hurt and angry and very alone.  When Virginie goes down for her first nap this morning, and there will certainly be two naps as we were up first at 4:30 am for a quick nursing session and then completely awake at 5:15, Lily will more than likely want to draw or play, have her private Mommy time.  Should she miraculously want to nap, that will happen while Virginie is awake, walking all over the house or patio and on Lily's waking, Virginie will go down for nap #2.  What is missing here?  Mommy's nap.

Getting up so early does allow for a private viewing of the monkeys as they pass by our picture windows on the way to their morning rest stop.  There are two new mothers in the group with babies literally clinging to them, attached at the breast.  I watch these mothers climb the same trees, scale the same wall, and swing from the same vines as all the other monkeys and I wonder, how tired are THEY?


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